I wrote this A LONG TIME AGO. Like almost two years ago. Gosh, it hasn’t been two years yet? O_o

Just wanted to share. 

When I dance with someone, 
I wanna truthfully tell him 
“I wish it were you” 
but that’d be a lie 
but I wish it wasn’t. 
I wanna tell him 
how I want him. 
But I don’t. 
So I can’t.
I wanna tell him how much I cry, 
how many tears I’ve shed
trying to will myself to like him, 
wishing it was right. 
I wanna tell him 
I still care. 
I wanna tell him 
I meant it when I said 
“you’re the cutest” 
And I still do. 
I wanna tell him how amazing he is, 
How inferior I am, 
How replaceable I feel, 
,How easily he’ll find a girl better 
Than me 
And how afraid I am 
That I won’t find anyone 
Better than him. 
I wanna tell him I think 
He’s the nicest, 
Sweetest 
Guy I’ve ever met. 
I wanna tell him how talented I think he is. 
I wanna tell him 
That when I pick up my violin 
I think of how he’s 
Fifty times better 
At viola 
And that I think 
It’s cool 
That he plays uke. 
I wanna tell him 
He’s good looking 
And smart. 
I wanna tell him 
He’s got a great conscience 
And that I know how much we’ve got in common. 
I wanna tell him how 
He did nothing wrong 
And everything perfect. 
I wanna tell him to never change. 
I wanna tell him 
I’m writing this 
And how much it makes 
My arm hurt 
And how much I wish it were neater* 
I wanna tell him how I feel, 
How confused I am. 
I’m so unsure 
But I could never be more sure 
How content I am 
Yet still yearning 
How I feel a great attraction 
But the ultimate repulsion 
I wanna tell him 
I just don’t think we’re compatible 
Just don’t think we fit 
I wanna tell him 
I wish we were 
I wish we did 
Most of all, 
I wanna tell him

/I’m sorry/

*I originally wrote this on paper